Life Advice
/Health
Heartbroken After Years of Caregiving
Dear Annie: I lost my husband 10 years ago. He was a great man, and we had a good marriage for over 30 years. It took me a while (seven years) to date, and when I did, I met a guy who was seven years older than me and twice divorced, but I was very attracted to him, and he was to me. We spent six months together, and then I left for the winter...Read more
Navigating Social Exclusion as a Widow
Dear Reader: Many of you wrote in regarding the newly widowed woman who stopped receiving invitations to couples' gatherings. A great number of you shared similar experiences. Below are a few letters that reflect this.
Dear Widowing: The invisibility you feel often grows in proportion to how insecure other women are. If they perceive you as ...Read more
Recovery Turns to Screen Addiction
Dear Annie: Several years ago, my wife suffered a stroke. As part of her recovery, her doctor recommended a video game to help improve her hand-eye coordination. At first, it seemed like a great idea; it gave her a sense of accomplishment and helped in her healing. But over time, this once-helpful activity has grown into a serious phone ...Read more
Honoring Our Heroes
Dear Readers: Wishing you a Happy Veterans Day. Please find below some enjoyable quotes to celebrate these heroes.
"Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
"Freedom is never free." -- Unknown
"Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better." -- Albert Camus
"May we think...Read more
Navigating Family Dynamics With Grace
Dear Annie: I loved reading the different responses from both grandmothers in the "Daughter-in-Law's Dilemma." I'm fortunate to be the daughter-in-law of the most amazing people. My husband is the youngest of seven children, all of whom have two or three kids of their own. We have two boys, ages 19 and 20, and agree that boys often gravitate ...Read more
Am I to Blame for My In-Laws' Family Drift?
Dear Annie: I find myself questioning everything. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. I have known this since I was 13, living on the streets and trying to figure out life.
As an adult, my goal has been to not push my childhood trauma onto my relationships. I have been married to my amazing husband for almost 20 years. Together we share ...Read more
Grateful for the Help, but Uncomfortable With the Extras
Dear Annie: I am a nurse who needed to become a full-time caregiver for my mom, who is in her 90s. I have siblings; however, when I ask for their help, there is always an excuse. I haven't had a vacation in several years.
A friend of mine who is also a nurse offered to take care of my mom so I could have a long weekend off. I was so grateful ...Read more
Navigating Burnout and Feeling Left Behind
Dear Annie: It's been a long journey for my wife and I. I left grad school and we got married in 2008, just as the economy collapsed. It took us a while to get our careers going. After 10 years of struggle, we moved to a new state for new jobs, and right before the pandemic, my wife started working on her teaching degree. During all of this, ...Read more
Choosing Peace Over Family Drama
Dear Annie: I've made the decision to distance myself from my sister, who exhibits narcissistic, dramatic, needy and demanding behavior.
For years, I offered her help, advice and support, only to have the relationship follow a repetitive and unhealthy cycle. I would set boundaries and shut her out after being hurt but eventually let her back ...Read more
Struggling to Reconnect With Son
Dear Annie: We used to have an excellent relationship with our son, and he has a daughter who is now 19 years old. Seven years ago, he met a divorced woman whom we initially liked, but over time, things changed drastically. Since this new relationship began, our son's bond with his daughter has deteriorated to the point where they hardly see ...Read more
Home and Health Crisis
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 45 years, and at 72 and 67, we are both struggling with health issues. Our 43-year-old son still lives with us and works a low-income job. We're retired, of course, and unfortunately, our two-story home has become increasingly difficult to manage due to our health conditions. Getting up the ...Read more
Boundaries in Friendship and at Home
Dear Annie: I am writing in response to the letter about the friend who was snubbed and not invited to join the group. True friendship is built on respect, kindness and mutual support, not on dismissive or hurtful behavior. The writer sounds like a thoughtful and sensitive person, someone who values meaningful connections, and they deserve ...Read more
Decades-Long Friendship Strained by Money
Dear Annie: I've been friends with "Martha" for 42 years. I've always considered our friendship volatile, but I've excused her behavior due to her difficult upbringing. As we've grown up, not much has changed. She gets angry over nothing and stops speaking to me for sometimes months at a time. As children, it was about things like me making ...Read more
Long-Distance Doubts
Dear Annie: I met a woman, "Alice," on a dating site. We have been emailing each other for 27 months. We have never met; she lives in Seattle, and I live outside of Atlanta. We are both 70 years old.
I don't quite understand our relationship. We seem to get along really well, and she has my phone number but won't give me hers. I've asked for ...Read more
Moving On From Close Friendship
Dear Annie: I felt something was wrong with my closest friend for a while. She was my maid of honor but didn't have a shower for me. She also showed up at the wedding venue fully dressed and made up, when we were supposed to get ready together.
Weeks later, I said it was hurtful that no one had a shower for me. I asked her how she would feel ...Read more
Thoughts for Autumn
Dear Readers: Hope you are all having a lovely fall. Please see below some poems that help embrace the season.
"The Wild Swans at Coole" by William Butler Yeats
"The trees are in their autumn beauty, / The woodland paths are dry, / Under the October twilight the water / Mirrors a still sky; / Upon the brimming water among the stones / Are ...Read more
Finding Peace in Family Conflict
Dear Annie: I have a daughter who hasn't spoken to me for almost 20 years, though she still maintains contact with her father. My husband and I have been married for 40 years, but our relationship has been extremely difficult for me. I've felt trapped in the marriage because I worked as an aide in a classroom, earning about $20,000 a year, and...Read more
Overwhelmed by Ice Cream
Dear Annie: I read your column every day, and I read with great interest the letter from the wife whose husband had an affair 20 years earlier. She was bitter that none of her friends told her about it.
I found myself in a similar situation, only I was the friend, and I DID tell her that her husband was cheating on her. This was 35 years ago.
...Read more
Boundaries and Breakthroughs
Dear Annie: I just read today's letter from "Help," and it deeply resonated with my own experiences. Like "Help," I had a narcissistic mother and spent years struggling to reconcile my relationship with her while searching for my own happiness and balance.
Living with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is extremely ...Read more