Life Advice
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Boyfriend Overwhelmed By Family At Thanksgiving Dinner
DEAR HARRIETTE: This Thanksgiving was an absolute disaster. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year, and this holiday felt like the perfect time to introduce him to my family. I was nervous because, while I love them, my family is known to be a little unconventional. They're loud, opinionated and tend to say exactly what's on their minds, no ...Read more
Wedding Invitation Might Be An Olive Branch
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My siblings and I (all of us in our 40s and 50s) have had a strained relationship over the past few years, for various reasons. Last year, my youngest sister told us all via email that she would still make an effort to come to family gatherings, but that we would not see her son or her husband.
Shortly after that, she asked ...Read more
Living Without My Wife
Dear Annie: My wife of 44 years passed away after a nine-day bout with cancer.
We started dating at 16, went to college together, married at 20 and graduated at 21, when we started our life together for real.
"Sally" passed away two months after her 65th birthday. I will turn 65 in a month. I was to retire in three months, while Sally was ...Read more
Exes Check In To A New Phase Of Uncertainty
DEAR ABBY: I was with my ex-fiance for 13 years. Not long after he broke up with me, I found myself going to meet him at a hotel. We have been seeing each other regularly, once a week at least. We go out and enjoy our time together like we are dating.
The frustrating thing is, he doesn't want to let me know where he lives. He says it's a ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend takes too many leftovers after holiday meals
Dear Eric: I have been sharing Thanksgiving with dear friends for decades. About three years ago, they learned a friend of mine, with whom they are acquainted, had no plans for the day. So, she has been invited and now attends annually.
These are kind and generous friends, so they offer their guests the opportunity to take home doggie bags. My ...Read more
Friend's Marathon Stories Overwhelm Group Conversations
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend recently ran her first marathon, and while we're all super proud of her accomplishment, it has completely taken over every conversation. Whether we're at brunch, hanging out or texting in our group chat, she always brings the topic back to her training, the race itself or how she's already planning for the next one. At ...Read more
Uncle Might Miss Christmas If He Sleeps In
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother-in-law just informed us, very last-minute, that he's coming to our house for Christmas. Whenever he visits, he sleeps until around 10.
My husband and I have three children, ages 8, 3 and 8 months. Should we have the children wait to open gifts until their uncle is awake, talk to him about waking earlier since it is...Read more
Letting Go Doesn't Mean You Have to Lose
Dear Readers: Thank you for all your responses to "Letting Go Is Hard to Do." We have undeniably wonderful parents among our readership. Here are two of my favorite letters.
Dear Annie: This is in response to "Letting Go Is Hard to Do," who was worried about the choices her daughter might be making at college after seeing a questionable bank ...Read more
Readers Suggest Supportive Approaches For 'looking Out'
DEAR ABBY: "Looking Out for Mom in Chicago" (Aug. 16) was concerned that 69-year-old Mom wasn't getting out and socializing now that she has moved closer to them, and worried they'll be her only support as she ages. They also said she's always been shy.
As a nearly 70-year-old introvert, I understand how their mom feels. Moving to a new place ...Read more
Asking Eric: Widowed songwriter sings about new girlfriend, but his sons aren’t all ears
Dear Eric: I’m a 75-year-old amateur songwriter who enjoys recording what I write. I’m also a widower going on three years. When my wife of 42 years was alive, I wrote songs for and about her and us. I’d record them at home and send the recordings to our boys and in-laws who always responded positively.
I received great joy in sharing my ...Read more
Friends Search For Family After Man's Death
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that a friend of mine "Arthur," passed away. Tragically, another friend figured it out and had the police do a wellness check. The paramedics discovered Arthur's body and took him away, but no one ever called my friend back. My friend called around until he learned that Arthur had died.
Now we are searching for ...Read more
Should Present-Snoopers Forfeit The Gifts They Find?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was wondering if you can suggest the proper way to deal with "present snoopers."
I caught my wife red-handed holding a Christmas gift I had purchased for her. I had specifically told her where it was hidden so she would not happen by it accidentally, but apparently I misplaced my trust in her.
I did not think I was out of ...Read more
Testy About Takeout
Dear Annie: Both my adult daughter and her husband are employed. Since they do not cook, when my husband and I visit them, which is approximately four times a year, they send out for food and ask us to pay our share of the bill, or, on occasion, she will use my credit card to pay for the whole bill. When we go out to eat at a restaurant, I ...Read more
Husband's Holiday Cards Undermine Wife's Grudge
DEAR ABBY: Several members of my husband's family let us down badly by not attending our daughter's wedding. They had various work and other family obligations near the date of our event. "Save the Date" cards had been sent out six months prior, but we were apparently lower on their priority list. I expressed to my husband my desire to not send ...Read more
Asking Eric: Retired parents always get stuck footing the bill for blended family
Dear Eric: My husband and I are senior citizens in a large, blended family. Back when we were younger, and both gainfully employed, we paid for everything any time our blended family got together. Over the years, the family grew larger numerically.
The fact that we’re retired seems to make no difference in the expectation. Any time the group ...Read more
Left Out of Family Fun
Dear Annie: I am a single mother to my one daughter, who is now 29. She moved from our hometown because that's where she met her husband, and she now has a son, my grandson, who is 1 1/2 years old. She asked me when she first got pregnant if I would move down to where they live to babysit Monday through Friday for them. Long story short, I did ...Read more
Expectant Mom Concerned By Husband's Change Of Tune
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married less than a year, and I'm pregnant with my first child. Our baby was planned, and we were thrilled.
Something changed with my husband once I hit the second trimester. If I read something about pregnancy and try to share it with him, he instantly shuts me down, saying I shouldn't believe everything I...Read more
Asking Eric: New boyfriend is overly friendly to younger women
Dear Eric: I'm a woman in a new relationship with a fabulous man who doesn't seem to understand an issue I've brought to his attention. I noted recently that when he checks out other women in front of me, I feel disrespected. He listened and said he understood completely.
I didn't have the courage to take it a step further, which is ridiculous...Read more
Former Army Brat Struggles To Form Lasting Connections
DEAR HARRIETTE: I grew up as an army brat, and while there were many positives to that experience, it also came with significant challenges that I'm still grappling with as an adult. My family moved frequently during my childhood -- sometimes multiple times within a single year.
Each time we moved, I had to leave behind friends, schools and ...Read more
Everyone Rejects My Politeness
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was brought up to always be polite to others, but as I reach 50, it seems that society cares less about this.
Sometimes even ordering a coffee is fraught with potential misunderstanding. Common decency is misinterpreted as "hitting on" someone, when all I'm doing is trying to be nice. Sometimes I feel like just being abrupt...Read more
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