Life Advice
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Erika Ettin: Who invited your ex on this date?
I received this text from a client I started working with recently: “I really want to solve this issue of people mentioning their exes! Or maybe that’s just normal if you’re divorced? Is it me? Or does that happen to other clients on every single first date? It’s so uncomfortable!”
And then this week, after a different client went on ...Read more
Asking Eric: After family deaths, mother gets meaner and spreads lies
Dear Eric: My father passed from cancer in 2020. He and my mother were married for 53 years. One year later, my only sibling died suddenly from a massive heart attack. So, it's just my mother and I left. We have never had a good relationship. Very tense, lots of jealousy (her, not me).
Both my parents were very close to my children growing up. ...Read more
Plant Owner Can't Keep Them Alive Despite Best Efforts
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently developed a love for having plants around my home because they add such a refreshing vibe, but I struggle to keep them alive. People remark that I don't have a green thumb and that I should give up on this hobby, but I'm determined to prove them wrong. I've done a lot of research on how to care for plants, yet they ...Read more
You Did Not Hear This From Miss Manners
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an older home with just one bathroom. I make sure that all personal products are off the counter when we have guests, but we've still had people snoop in the medicine cabinet and in the cupboard under the sink.
My teenaged nephew once commented loudly about finding laxatives in the medicine cabinet. Another time, he ...Read more
Happy Holidays to All
Dear Readers: Wishing you and all a very happy holiday season. Please enjoy the following poem.
"A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement Clarke Moore.
"'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house / Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; / The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, / In hopes that St. Nicholas soon...Read more
Widow Has No Interest In An Intimate Relationship
DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, I began seeing a man I like very much but don't want to be intimate with. We are in our "young" 70s, and both of us were widowed two years ago after 50-year marriages. We agreed early on that neither of us will remarry.
We are affectionate, and he'll occasionally kiss my cheek, nape of my neck or forehead. We hug. ...Read more
Asking Eric: Sister’s relationship is consuming her life
Dear Eric: My younger sister is in her sophomore year at university (her school is far from home). I’m a couple of years older than her, but we are best friends. She just celebrated her one-year anniversary with her boyfriend (same age as her), who she met in her first week in school.
I love her boyfriend and support their relationship – he...Read more
Family Struggles To Cope After Father's Passing
DEAR HARRIETTE: It's been a month since I lost my dad, and it's been hard for me and especially my mom. He was the provider for our family -- both financially and emotionally -- and he always taught us to strive to be better every day. Now that he's gone, I feel as though a huge part of me is missing, and I'm struggling to process the grief. ...Read more
Relatives Won't Give Teasing A Rest
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a polite way to deal with those relatives who constantly tease you, make fun of you and remind you of the stupid, mean things you did when you were young?
Naturally enough, I avoid these relatives whenever possible. But there are inevitably two or three occasions every year when I am in their presence.
I have tried ...Read more
When to Hold On and When to Let Go
Dear Annie: Seven years ago, I met a guy on a dating site. I'm 13 years older than him, but I look much younger than my age. After we matched, he asked me on a date, and we kissed. From there, we kept texting, flirting and engaging in a lot of suggestive conversations -- but he never asked me out again.
Over the years, we've remained close ...Read more
Best Friend Is Anything But One After Wine O'clock
DEAR ABBY: My best friend of 60 years lost her husband 13 years ago. She has one son, who is successful and busy with his young family. They try to include her in various family gatherings, but she always has an excuse as to why she can't attend -- she doesn't drive at night, doesn't like their friends, etc.
The truth is, she starts drinking at...Read more
Millennial Life: The Holiday Magic in Imperfection
It didn't ring a bell when he rolled down his window, but it did jingle with a light thump as I eased the car forward in traffic. There went one of my car antlers, not getting run over by a reindeer but instead by the tires of other commuters behind me.
This year, it felt like the candy cane to top a lackluster holiday prep season. I'm still ...Read more
Asking Eric: Husband’s mean comments about house clutter cause arguments
Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for more than 30 years and enjoy each other's company. As many couples, after many years there are certain things that we do that get on each other's nerves. He has always been a neat and organized person, and I have always been a bit messy. My closet is usually messy, and I forget to put things in ...Read more
Before You Bring Home a Holiday Pet
Dear Annie: As an animal lover, I hope you'll consider sharing this important message.
To anyone thinking about getting a dog for the holidays, please take these points to heart:
No. 1: Do Not Surprise Anyone with a Pet
A pet is a lifelong commitment, not a spur-of-the-moment gift. Surprising someone with a dog can lead to heartbreak if ...Read more
Boyfriend Ignores Partner's Wishes For Their New Home
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I recently bought our first house together. It has an outdoor kitchen and other features he really likes. I like it too, but there have been some issues already in the first month or two. Lately, he's been wanting to have BBQs and get-togethers for his family. He invites all these people over who I don't know. I'm not...Read more
Asking Eric: Woman fears being left alone after father and partner die
Dear Eric: I am a woman in my late 50s. I have never been married or had any children. It was always my father who raised both myself and my sibling (who passed away at the age of 40). I am in a long-term relationship and we both respect and love one another.
My father is in his late 80s and not in great health. I cannot stop worrying that when...Read more
Woman Stuck In Cycle Of Comparison And Criticism
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a woman in my 20s, and lately, my self-esteem has taken a serious plunge. Just a year ago, I felt confident, vibrant and happy with who I was. Recently, though, things have shifted, and I find myself constantly comparing myself to other women, whether it's their looks, careers or social lives. It feels like I can't measure ...Read more
When The Quiet Car Isn't Quiet
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a long train journey to work each day, and I always gravitate towards the "quiet carriage." But invariably, there are some passengers who believe the rules have no application to them.
They believe that they, for no blindingly obvious reason, sit above and outside the rules. They carry on loud, pointless conversations ...Read more
Should I Evict My Son?
Dear Annie: I have a 47-year-old son who lives with me. He pays no rent, and he does not help with the bills. He does help with some of the yard work and housecleaning, but he ignores it if I ask him to help with something that I would like. For instance, he failed to install a Dish network while I was away.
He lies in bed for weeks and months ...Read more
Blowup With Fiance Reveals True Status Of Relationship
DEAR ABBY: I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We broke up for a while, but got back together and have been doing great, and we got engaged six months ago. Last week, we had a huge fight, where all my bottled-up resentment came out. I have tried to communicate my needs, but while he changes briefly, things always revert back to ...Read more
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