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Definitions for Parents

Humor / Jokes /

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the mashed carrots.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it ...Read more

It Doesn't Surprise Me That There is a...

Humor / Jokes /

- Rudeville, New Jersey
- Boring, Oregon
- Hell, Michigan
- Hooker, California
- Virgin, Utah
- Dulls Corner, Maryland
- Bowlegs, Oklahoma
- Volcano, Hawaii
- Beersville, Pennsylvania
- Fleatown, Ohio
- Burnt Corn, Alabama
- Two Guns, Arizona
- Toad Suck, Arkansas

Turn Off the Lights

Humor / Jokes /

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would suddenly turn off. Each time the lights went out, the place would erupt into a loud cheer. However, when the patrons saw the nun walk in, the room went dead silent.

She walked ...Read more

The Rude Customer

Humor / Jokes /

An award should go to the Virgin Airlines gate attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of ...Read more

A Visit from Grandmother

Humor / Jokes /

A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning.

Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?"

The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her ...Read more

Margot Robbie Tattooed A Member Of Production & More Crazy Ink Stories | The Graham Norton Show

Humor / Jokes /

Watch Hollywood's finest show off their most meaningful (and sometimes most regrettable) tattoos! This compilation will have you thinking twice before your next trip to the parlour!

Britt Lower Plays the Severance Theme Song on Trumpet; Talks Smoothie Mishap While Filming Season 2

Humor / Jokes /

Britt Lower talks about playing in the marching band in high school and accidentally eating a silica gel packet while filming the outdoor scenes in Season 2 of Severance before playing the show's theme song on the trumpet.

Steve Martin Checks His Messages During the Show | Carson Tonight Show

Humor / Jokes /

Original Airdate: October 28th, 1976

Pierce Brosnan Opens up About the James Bond Franchise | The Jonathan Ross Show

Humor / Jokes /

Pierce Brosnan reflects on his time as James Bond, shares his thoughts on the iconic franchise, and reveals what it really meant to step into 007’s shoes.

The Hilarious Don Rickles | The Dick Cavett Show

Humor / Jokes /

Dick Cavett is joined by comedian Don Rickles. Date aired – 13th April 1972

"Why Do We Need To Eat?" - Stephen Answers Real Questions From Real Kids

Humor / Jokes /

Kids. You would have gotten away with it if not for their meddling. Special thanks to the Mayor of Flavortown, Guy Fieri, for helping Stephen answer these real questions from real kids!

Andrea Martin and Catherine O'Hara | SCTV | English For Beginners

Humor / Jokes /

Perini frustrates her English teacher.

They Call The Wind Maria | The Smothers Brothers | The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour

Humor / Jokes /

The Smothers Brothers perform the song, They Call The Wind Maria, on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour.

Galaxy Song - Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

Humor / Jokes /

Galaxy Song, taken from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. Terry Jones picked this as part of his Top 10 Monty Python Movie Moments for Esquire Magazine - "It's such a lovely song. I think it's one of the best things Eric [Idle]'s ever done. There was going to be more animation but Terry was so busy with other parts of the film we ended up ...Read more

Minecraft Claw Machine Challenge with Jack Black and Jason Momoa | The Tonight Show

Humor / Jokes /

Jimmy, Jack Black and Jason Momoa play a game where they have to grab as many Minecraft-themed prizes as possible while being lowered down like a claw machine.

Jack Black Shreds the Guitar During Tonight Show Entrance; Talks Making Songs for A Minecraft Movie

Humor / Jokes /

Jack Black performs a guitar solo during his entrance before talking about returning to host Saturday Night Live after 20 years and creating original music for A Minecraft Movie with Barbie's Mark Ronson.

Please Don’t Destroy - Mikey Madison Is Squidward - SNL

Humor / Jokes /

Ben Marshall, John Higgins and Martin Herlihy have questions about Mikey Madison's outfit.

The Eyebrows Have It

Humor / Tracy Beckerman /

As I perused the latest fashion magazine, I noticed something about the models.

They all had big eyebrows. Big, perfect eyebrows. Big, sculpted, perfectly groomed and arched eyebrows.

And I did not.

Not that I'm comparing myself to a model, because that would be impossible on just so many levels. I could not make myself 6 feet tall, 115 ...Read more

And You Thought Your Job Was A Pain?

Humor / Jokes /

If you think, for one second, you’ve got a bad job, on your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy. I want you to go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be ...Read more

Tragic Local Courtroom Drama Plays Out In Omaha

Humor / Jokes /

Omaha, NE (AP) -A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Douglas County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that ...Read more

 

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