Why U.S. History Is Peppered With Silly Terms
As we prepare to celebrate our nation's 250th birthday next year, this secret can now be revealed: During the Constitutional Convention, the Founding Fathers repaired to a Philadelphia Publick House to hatch a sadistic linguistic conspiracy.
"Just to torture future high school history students," snickered James "Icky" Madison, "let's require battles, laws, court cases, political parties and presidents to have ridiculous names."
"Hear, hear!" chirped Alexander "Sawbuck" Hamilton, quaffing a Sam Adams while a hairdresser coiffed Sam Adams himself.
Their "Silly-nym Proviso," as the plan came to be known, first took effect when a Revolutionary War battle on Breed's Hill was renamed "the Battle of Bunker Hill." The confusion continued when the Democratic-Republican Party of the early 1800s became the Democratic Party in the 1830s, which was then opposed by the new Republican Party during the 1850s. Got that?
Soon a cavalcade of farcically named factions paraded in: Know Nothings, Whigs, Wide-Awakes, Scalawags, Carpetbaggers, Half Breeds, Stalwarts, Molly Maguires, Mugwumps, Wobblies and Patrons of Husbandry -- who some people assumed to be, not farmers, but ladies of the night.
Meanwhile, goofily named presidents took office in rapid succession: Millard, Ulysses, Rutherford and Grover, who later became a Muppet. William Henry Harrison's nickname was "Tippecanoe," presumably referring to his shenanigans at a summer camp. Not to be outdone, labor unions were led by Terence Powderly and Samuel Gompers.
Funny-sounding laws and events abounded: The XYZ Affair (Wasn't that a Bond flick?), Macon's Bill No. 2 (What happened to Macon's Bill No. 1?), Specie Circular (Was there ever a Specie Square?) and the eminently guffawable Non-Intercourse Act. To make matters worse, 19th-century politicians were continually proposing "internal improvements," which sounded like some kind of reconstructive abdominal surgery.
Even the Supreme Court cashed in with hilariously named cases such as "Martin v. Hunter's Lessee" (Was he late with the rent?), "the Slaughterhouse cases" (You don't want to know) and "ex parte Milligan," which most mistook for golfer's lingo.
The Silly-nym Proviso still abides. Who will ever forget the catchy title of the welfare reform bill of 1996 -- The Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act?
And what's the term for our 250th birthday? "Semiquincentennial!" The Founding Fathers would be proud.
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Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to WordGuy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM
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