ArcaMax

It's NFL playoff time or, as I call it, "Cabin Fever Consolation." You be the referee. The following pigskin profile of an imaginary team is laced with illegal procedures, false starts and personal fouls. Can you throw a yellow penalty flag at each of its 30 usage errors?

How did the Mudville Mudruggles make the playoffs? The principle reason for the team's success is the lightening-fast speed of it's running backs. Albert "Crazy Legs" Bunglethorpe, a dominate player who last year lead the team in rushing, hones in on defensive gaps, alluding tackles and running passed defenders. Complimenting his skills are the talents of Francis "Zonker" Frankenpuhl who fairs well by running straight ahead, never altaring his route.

Head Coach Clarence "Bump" Bumpkins, an imminent tactician, has devised a large amount of plays that flaunt convention. In one of his plays, two flankers line up besides each other and remain stationery for three seconds after the snap. In another, the quarterback does jumping jacks until he spots a man whose open.

Coach Bumpkins is known for using course language and jibing his players. He often makes illusions to the Civil War and sites quotations from General William T. Sherman. In trying to illicit the best effort from his players, he's not adverse to pushing them harder then other coaches would.

Bumpkins refuses to except any excuses, and will bench lazy players, irregardless of whether their stars or what affect their absence has on the game. When practices start, every player must be already to go, and he becomes enraged when he sees a player laying down.

Corrections (grouped by paragraph):

1. principal reason 2. lightning-fast speed 3. its running backs 4. dominant player 5. led the team 6. homes in on 7. eluding tackles 8. past defenders 9. complementing his skills 10. fares well 11. altering his route

12. eminent tactician 13. number of plays 14. flout convention 15. beside each other 16. remain stationary 17. who's open

18. coarse language 19. gibing his players 20. allusions to the Civil War 21. cites quotations 22. elicit the best 23. he's not averse 24. than other coaches would

25. accept any excuses 26. regardless of whether 27. they're stars 28. what effect 29. all ready to go 30. lying down

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Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to WordGuy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM

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