ArcaMax

'Twas twenty two four, and all through the nation,

The buzzwords were flying, to much consternation.

With "disinformation" and "narratives" false,

Our "journeys" diverged amid verbal assaults.

Kamala served "word salad," Trump did "the weave,"

Which of these two were we s'posed to believe?

The "trad wives" and "MAGAs" all frolicked like squirrels,

While "normies" and Dems were left "clutching their pearls."

A question on usage soon turned faces red:

Was "their garbage" or "they're garbage" what Biden had said?

About punctuation we all grew obsessive;

Was Harris' or Harris's the proper possessive?

And pronouns were showcased when Trump played the cad,

By taunting the "woke" with his "They/Them/You" ad.

As Harris with "coconuts" proved she was "brat,"

J.D. said "illegals" were eating our cats.

A "border invasion," said he, should be feared,

While Walz, his archrival, just said he was "weird."

Always a "sigma," D.T. grew quite shrill

Whenever he told us to "drill, baby, drill."

On Rogan he courted the "bro" "manosphere,"

Complaining of "witch hunts" and "lawfare" and smears.

When "mainstream" news outlets were skipping Trump's rants,

Some called this "sane washing," while others blamed chance.

In "battleground" "swing states," folks hated the scads

Of "canvassers," "phone banks" and "negative ads."

While Trump was dismissive of "Project Two Five,"

His call for high "tariffs" stirred up a beehive.

Predicting the vote would be "crooked" and "rigged,"

He stopped all complaints when he saw he'd won big.

A vigorous Santa, he went straight to his work,

Filled cabinet stockings, though some with a smirk.

On "Day One," he vowed, he'd invoke "Schedule F,"

A measure he hoped would defuse the "far left."

How real were his pledges, or was he just spoofing?

A number of blue states began their "Trump proofing."

Retreating like gnats into wee "info bubbles,"

We thought would distract us from all of our troubles.

Back "In Real Life," we all were "relatable,"

Bemoaning food prices, still high and "inflatable."

With "price-pack" deception and blatant "shrinkflations,"

Discounters like Aldi became destinations.

We "cosplayed" our idols while "phubbing" our friends,

As "GYAT" and "cringey" became teen slang trends.

While seeking relief from wars and "vibecession,"

Both "podcasts" and "streaming" became our obsession.

While "Deadpool" squeezed "Beetlejuice" "Inside Out,"

We also gave "Glick-ed" a year-ending shout.

Though language this year was oft marred by derision,

Let's hope for a new year of much less division.

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Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to WordGuy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Copyright 2024 Creators Syndicate Inc.