ArcaMax

When you scrape away the fun and silly, but charming, veneer of what is now the thoroughly secularized holiday of Halloween; when you get beyond the extorted candy of trick-or-treat; when you finish carving and lighting your last pumpkin; when you take off the ridiculous costume you wore to a Halloween party, and when all that autumnal nonsense is put aside, the truth is that Halloween is about being visited by the spirits of dead people. That is what God winks are about. Halloween is the God wink holiday. So, except for horror movies, Halloween is just not scary enough and neither are God winks.

I am surprised how many of you, dear readers, view personal visitations from dead loved ones as basically a warm and fuzzy comforting experience. I understand, of course, that most God winks are an answer to your most important grief-stricken questions: “Are they all right? Are they in a better place or are they consumed forever in the cold dark abyss of the grave? I am happy that you God wink recipients have finally received hard, empirical evidence that death is not the end of us. However, there is a terrifying element to being contacted by a spirit or ghost or something that goes bump in the night. Halloween is a good time to remember that visits from the dead are guaranteed to rock your theological and psychological boat.

The Mexican culture has figured this out. Their national holiday, which is timed to coincide with the Allhallowtide cycle of Catholic observance, has its lighthearted rituals but it includes skull candy and gatherings at the graves of dead loved ones. This year the Day of the Dead occurs on Saturday, Nov. 2. Buy some marigolds and check it out.

Meanwhile, these readers have learned that meeting the dead is often a heart-pounding, soul-shaking experience…

Q: I enjoy reading your God winks columns and I believe I have two. My older brother suffered a traumatic brain injury in an accident when he was 18 years old. He led a tortured life for 20 years until he took his own life at 38. I was closer to him than anyone in our family. Five years later, my wife, new daughter and I moved back to my hometown. Soon we started noticing a flash of light in the dining room from a distance on random occasions. Not being big believers in ghosts or spirits, we joked about the flashes being just that. One night I was alone with my 1-year-old daughter, who was asleep. I was in front of the mirror after showering with the door open behind me when I saw a bearded man walk by the door heading toward the baby's room. The only way someone could walk that way would be to come in through a closed window. Every hair on my body stood up! I grabbed a bat and searched the entire house, only to find nothing. After I calmed down, I realized the man looked a lot like my brother, who always had a beard as an adult. A few mornings later I was in another bathroom in front of another mirror getting ready for work while everyone else was asleep, when I noticed movement behind me. I said aloud, "OK, if you're here SHOW YOURSELF!" Well, instantly both sconce lights over the sink blinked off then back on! I quickly grabbed my keys and left the house. Nothing much of note has happened in the last 25 years. Second "wink". My father was a very good mechanic who fixed many cars in his lifetime. For the last seven months of his life my wife and I worked hard to give him the care he needed. On the way to his funeral, our car, which was fairly new, sputtered and almost stalled. My wife looked at me and said, "That was Pop". I agreed and we both smiled. The car had never done that before and never did it again. Thank you. – (From M)

Q: When my first child was born my grandmother was hospitalized, she wanted to see my new son, her first grandson. My cousin also had her second daughter a few months before. We thought she would come home but she passed away. On the night she died, I woke to see her standing over my son with a smile, and then she was gone. When I saw my cousin at the wake, I was going to tell her but before I could get it out, she said, “You saw Nanny. She came to see my daughter.” That wink still brings joy, but it assures me that love is eternal. – (From B in Rockville Centre, NY)

(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including “Religion for Dummies,” co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman. Also, the new God Squad podcast is now available.)

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