Whoever first coined the phrase, "It's nothing big, it's everything small," was ahead of the times.

I think about that every time I pause over AI, A1 and Al.

Depending on whether you read that sentence in serif type (letters with slabs on the end of strokes) or sans serif type (no slabs), you may or may not have read it correctly.

The first one is the abbreviation for artificial intelligence, the second one is a steak sauce and the last one is the first name of men with last names of Sharpton, Pacino and Unser Jr.

If you missed all of those, you're batting 0.

Or are you batting O?

Wait. Are we talking scores or blood type?

Which reminds me: "What did 0 say to 8?"

"That's a nice belt you have."

Every time I ask Google a question, the answer that appears is routinely authored by AI. Apparently, some guy named Al now has all the answers.

If I forget a password and have to check my secret hiding place where I wrote them in my sloppy, illegible longhand, I make multiple attempts guessing if the straight lines are letter ls, number 1s or capital Is, and if the circles are letters or numbers. After multiple failed attempts, I am blocked from my account.

I accept this as punishment for poor penmanship.

We had to get a new license plate for our car this month. I was hoping we might get a plate with a 0 and an O in it, to keep things interesting.

We did not.

Now I regret not springing for a vanity plate: 00OO0O.

It's probably already taken. By someone named Al.

Arizona does not use the letters I, O, Q and U due to potential confusion. Michigan does not use the letter O for the same reason. Florida does not make license plates with the letter O but uses the number 0.

Massachusetts is still in the game swinging, using both letters and numbers. They make the letter O oval and the number zero as a rectangle with rounded corners.

Or is it the other way around?

Living in a state where I and Al and everybody else have vehicles with license plates with capital Os and zeroes, I sometimes wonder about emergencies.

"Hello, 911? I'd like to report road rage. The license number was ---- oh, never mind. It was a black car."

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