Spouse Accuses Husband Of Having An Affair
DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel horrible. I confronted my husband because I thought he was cheating on me, but as it turns out, he was surprising me with a trip to Paris for our 10-year wedding anniversary. For the past six months, my husband has been acting secretive. I was seeing random charges in our account that he wouldnÕt tell me about, and he was hiding texts and calls. I assumed he was cheating because my brain always jumps to the worst conclusions.
WeÕve had an open and honest relationship, which is why the sudden change in his behavior made me feel so uneasy. He would leave the room to take phone calls, quickly close out of his messages if I walked by and brush off my questions whenever I asked about the unusual charges on our credit card. Eventually, my anxiety got the best of me, and I confronted him. I told him I thought he was being dishonest and that I was worried he might be seeing someone else. He looked completely shocked and explained that he had been secretly planning a big anniversary trip to Paris, something IÕve always dreamed of. HeÕs now upset at me for this accusation. How do I repair the damage I caused? -- Surprise Gone Wrong
DEAR SURPRISE GONE WRONG: Be honest with your husband. Tell him that his secretive behavior for the past six months was so unusual that it unsettled you. Play back for him what he did: how he left the room to talk on the phone and made suspicious charges. Ask him how he might feel if he noticed this behavior in you. Thank him for wanting to surprise you, and suggest that you two move past this and enjoy the trip -- but avoid mysterious surprises in the future. ItÕs not worth it.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a son who is 13 years old. He does his best in school, excels in basketball and does his chores at home. He doesn't give me any trouble, and he is an understanding child. He recently let me know that he wants to grow out his hair as a way of expressing his style. At first, I was a little apprehensive, especially considering it is not customary for boys to have long hair in our culture. However, I am hoping to provide a safe home for my children to grow up in, where they feel comfortable, so I allowed it.
I received backlash from multiple people, commenting on how feminine long hair makes him look. Personally, I think he looks great, and I see how much he enjoys it. I know that I will never force my son to conform to the opinions of outsiders, but I'll admit that I am unsure about how to respond, especially when the critique is coming from close family members. How do I set my parental boundary without going into full protective mama bear mode? -- Mama Bear
DEAR MAMA BEAR: Ignore the naysayers as you canÕt stop them anyway. One of the most temporary things a person can do to alter their appearance is a hairstyle change. Allow your son to enjoy his hair freedom. Encourage him to keep his hair clean and tidy as he explores different styles. When it comes time to find a job, he may have to make some adjustments -- but not yet.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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