Friend's Marathon Stories Overwhelm Group Conversations
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend recently ran her first marathon, and while we're all super proud of her accomplishment, it has completely taken over every conversation. Whether we're at brunch, hanging out or texting in our group chat, she always brings the topic back to her training, the race itself or how she's already planning for the next one. At first, it was exciting to hear about her journey because we know how much work she put into it. But now, weeks later, it feels like we're stuck in a marathon of marathon stories.
The rest of our friend group is starting to get annoyed, but we don't know how to bring it up without sounding dismissive of her achievement. We really do want to celebrate her success, but we also want to be able to talk about other things again. How can we kindly let her know it's time to switch up the conversation without hurting her feelings? -- Enough Already
DEAR ENOUGH ALREADY: Pull your friend aside, and tell her you need to talk to her about something sensitive. Acknowledge how proud you are of her accomplishment, and let her take that in. Then tell her that she may not realize it, but she has been monopolizing your conversations for weeks with endless details about her marathon experience, leaving little room for others to talk about their lives. Note that she probably doesn't realize that she is doing this, but the group is growing weary of her nonstop stories about the marathon. Encourage her to listen more and reengage with the group, leaving space for everyone to talk.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a singer since my elementary and high school days and often competed in singing contests, though I failed twice. These failures made me hesitant to join my college choir, but I decided to join for scholarship purposes, as it would help ease my parents' financial burden. Initially, I was excited to be part of the choir, but during our first rehearsal on stage, I completely froze. While I've always loved singing in private, performing in front of an audience fills me with anxiety and self-doubt. Despite this fear, I know how much music means to me, and I don't want to give up on something I'm so passionate about. I want to overcome my stage fright and find the joy in performing again, but I'm unsure where to start. -- Stage Fright
DEAR STAGE FRIGHT: Talk to the choir director about your predicament. Explain how much you love to sing, but that you need some coaching to get past the jitters. Chances are, you can work together to overcome your discomfort.
On your own, practice singing in front of the mirror, and give it your all. You can also tape yourself singing and share the playback with friends. Work hard to be present when they watch it. Ask friends to serve as a small audience for you to perform live. Keep practicing in front of small groups as you build your confidence. Go for it.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2024, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2024 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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