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No holiday plans? This social app will match you with a group of strangers for dinner

Kailyn Brown, Los Angeles Times on

Published in Dating Advice

LOS ANGELES -- When David Brown moved from Chicago to Los Angeles this summer, one of the first things he did was download an app that aims to "fight big-city loneliness."

The 35-year-old sales director had seen an Instagram ad for Timeleft, which matches users with strangers for dinner via a personality algorithm. Since he only knew a handful of people in his new city, he decided to give it a shot.

On the night of his first dinner, Brown, a self-described introvert, was "super nervous" as Timeleft provides participants with limited details about who they will be dining with, including their job industry and zodiac sign. No names or photos are disclosed. But Brown's fears were quickly dispelled once the host led him to his assigned table and he met the other diners, who were just as anxious as he was.

"Everybody kind of committed to the experience and was just open minded," says Brown, who lives in West Hollywood. Afterward, the group went to a bar hangout, also facilitated by Timeleft, for drinks and to meet other app users who also went to a dinner that night.

"I made at least two best friends at that first dinner," says Brown, adding that one of them is now his roommate. Since then, he's been going to Timeleft dinners almost every week and has started an Instagram group for users to stay in touch.

Brown is one of nearly 10,000 Angelenos who have attended a Timeleft dinner since the platform — which started in Lisbon last year and is now in more than 300 cities in 65 countries — expanded to L.A. in May. Los Angeles is the app's second- largest market in the United States, behind New York City.

Every Wednesday (excluding some holidays), Timeleft hosts more than 400 dinners in L.A. neighborhoods — stretching from Santa Monica to North Hollywood — with the purpose of helping attendees meet new people and hopefully make a friend. In an effort to combat loneliness, particularly during the holiday season — a 2023 survey by ValuePenguin found that 61% of Americans expected to feel lonely or sad during the season — Timeleft is hosting dinners on Dec. 25 and Jan. 1, both of which fall on a Wednesday. Among the participating restaurants, which are open to the public on the holidays, are Butcher's Daughter, Zinque and Formosa Cafe.

Carlie Armstrong, who leads Timeleft's West Coast region, says the company wanted to offer an alternative option during the holidays for people who may have lost loved ones, who live far from their families or those who may not have a good relationship with them.

"This is also a particularly polarizing year so there are a lot of people who maybe are shying away from those interactions and maybe want to try something new during this time, but still be with other people," she says. A recent American Psychological Association survey of more than 2,000 U.S. adults found that nearly 40% participants said they are avoiding relatives they disagree with politically during the holiday season.

Each of the holiday dinners will follow the format a typical Timeleft gathering. To join, you can purchase a ticket for $16 or sign up for a membership starting at $26 per month, then you will be prompted to select your preferred dinner date. Users can also indicate their budget for dinner as the app works with various types of restaurants (casual, fine dining, etc.). On the Tuesday before the event, you'll receive a brief introduction about your fellow diners. Guests are responsible for paying for their own meals.

I attended my first Timeleft dinner last month at Bacari in West Hollywood. Upon arrival, I showed the hostess my table number, which was provided by the app, and two other folks who were there for the dinner introduced themselves to me. A staffer then guided us to our table and eventually four other diners — one of whom was celebrating his birthday — trickled in to join us. Everyone in my group had attended at least five dinners with the platform, so they were past the awkwardness that you'd think would come from meeting with a group of strangers for the first time.

Conversation flowed effortlessly at our table, so much so that we didn't even pull out the question game that Timeleft provides to help break the ice. As we threw back strong cocktails and nibbled on delicious shareable plates, we talked about our jobs, hobbies, hometowns and upbringings (one woman had moved to L.A. from Romania). At one point, I told the group that someone I used to date, but hadn't seen in a year, had walked into the room, which launched a venting session about dating woes in L.A. We were comfortable, to say the least, and anyone walking by would've thought we'd known each other much longer than two hours.

 

The restaurant would only take a limited number of credit cards although staff encouraged us to share plates, so we had a minor headache trying to figure out how to split the bill. Ultimately, one person put their card down and we sent them money.

Cristina Haraba, 42, who moved to L.A. from London three years ago, is considering attending one of the app's holiday dinners because she doesn't have any family in town. Like Brown, she came across an ad for Timeleft on Instagram and decided to go because she was struggling to make friends.

"It's difficult to meet people in L.A. and I know it's not just me because a lot of the people who've come to these dinners have been living in L.A. for 20 years. Some of them were born here," says Haraba, who said she is used to having a "very rich social life."

Haraba, who's originally from Romania, has been to about six Timeleft dinners so far and has made a few friends she still keeps in touch with. What keeps her coming back is the opportunity to try new restaurants in her area and meet interesting people who she can explore the city with, she says.

Timeleft founder Maxime Barbier, who lives in Paris, says it was important for him to target the app to folks of various ages, including people like his 71-year-old dad. Barbier encouraged his dad to attend a dinner after he suffered a serious brain accident that caused him to be less social. He now goes at least once a month, Barber says.

"Something I find sad is that all the new concepts are really focused on the new generation like 'This is only for Gen Z,'" Barbier says. "But people who are the same age as my parents know how to use a computer or an iPhone and I think they need help because they [can get] lonely." At most Timeleft dinners, people are paired with people who are within 10 years of their age, but some folks have been matched with folks of other generations as well.

Myra Hermosa, 37, grew up in the San Fernando Valley, but recently moved back to the area after living in San Diego and North Carolina for a few years.

"When I got back here, I was like "Welp, most of my friends are gone, or at least not in the area," says Hermosa, who works from home. She decided to attend her first Timeleft dinner this summer because she was "itching to get out, make friends and be social again," she says.

"What sold it for me was that you have five people at that dinner table who you never would've met had you just gone through your day to day life. And they were just sharing their stories, their background, where they come from and what they do for a living," Hermosa says, adding that she met an actress and an army veteran. They played Timeleft's game in the app, which included reflective questions like "Why did you move to L.A.?" and "What is an event that had a significant impact on your life?" "I figured how crazy is it that these five people are sitting at a table and actually talking and interacting? This is kind of cool."

For those who are thinking about attending one of Timeleft's holiday dinners or on another Wednesday night, former attendees say it's essential to remain open, be yourself and to follow up if you vibe with someone.

"Don't be afraid to be honest," says Brown, adding that the dinners have helped him gain confidence. "If you can't be vulnerable, it's going to be really hard for people to relate to you in your experience. We're all at this dinner table for a reason. Most of us are here to make more friends, not just to sit at dinner with a stranger for two and a half hours."


©2024 Los Angeles Times. Visit at latimes.com. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

 

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